Philosopher Profiles
How to write flawless philosophy papers
Here are a few tricks that every philosopher should have under his/her belt:
- Such and such a theory is ad hoc: This is a good one to pull out if you're stuck for why your theory is right — just accuse the other theories of being ad hoc. No one will question it.
- Such and such a theory is counter-intuitive: This is another good technique — claim that the opposition's theory is counter-intuitive. If someone disagrees with you then clearly their intuitions are all muddled.
- Shifting the burden of proof: If you can't be bothered to prove something just give some arguments against the other view and claim that the burden of proof lies with those that support that view.
- Use the continental style of writing: Can't think of any arguments for what you want to say? Then just make statements about how things are instead: “The good is the highest of all values”. You don't even need to worry about the fact that some people might not agree: after all, you've just told them how it is. Hell, it doesn't even need to make sense.
- Put any devastating points against your theory in the footnotes: Thought of a point that will make your theory irrelevant? Then hide it in the footnotes! That way no-one can say you didn't mention it, but 99.9% of people won't ever read it.
Written by: Mark Wales